July 3rd, 2019

I have been writing in a journal, I’ll be selecting some stuff and transcribing it here as I do.

Hello! Recently I haven’t been writing much. I’m not sure if it’s because I don’t need to or I don’t want to. I think i’ve wanted to, but it’s been just as good for me to not. About 3 or 4 days ago, a friend and I talked about who we write for. I think we both write for the people that will happen upon it once we’re done with it. That’s who I write for at least. It’s for me, and it’s for you. I’m not sure who you are, or if this writing will make sense later on, but hey. Here’s to you. Hope you’re well.

Two things I’ve learned since my time started on this island:

1. Things take time

This is a simple statement but also a statement that I don’t think I truly embrace even to this moment. I was sitting on a yellow-soft grassy knoll with two boys from Spain the other day. As boats passed by about 100 feet from the shore, they moved away so much more quickly then the waves that crashed onto the shore. THe boat would pass, then about a half minute or more later, the waves would crash onto the rocks. Things take time. Emotionally, physically, spiritually. I have learned truly about my impatience in this aspect to my time here.

This is aforementioned knoll around dusk.

This is aforementioned knoll around dusk.

There is so much more I want to write and so much more I have been (kind of) trying to hol donto and remember. This brings me to the second thing i’ve learned while here: Letting Go.

Letting go, dropping baggage, throwing your rocks into the ocean. As a paperweight for the journal I’m writing in I have a rock. It is just a rock but i’ve put all my good into it. I’ve thrown my “bad rock” into the sea. And every time I think or feel of something good I find this rock and squeeze it so hard I think my fingers will break.

I used to have the mentality that unresolved issues would leave a sort of poison in me. A deep rooted seed of discontentment that, if not resolved, would sprout and develop into nastiness later on. So anytime I had an issue, physically, mentally, emotionally, I would drop everything and work to “resolve” the issue. Through communication or otherwise. I still think this is a healthy way to resolve things but I realized that the only way for this seed to sprout inside of me is if it was just that; inside of me. I would hold onto the unresolvable, I would not. let. go. Convinced that the only way to get rid of it was to uproot the very dirt of my being. It never occurred to me that I could simply walk to another pasture.